


Antics of Hobbits

by Yemi Hikari (Yemi_Hikari)



Series: The Antics of Hobbits [3]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-28
Updated: 2008-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yemi_Hikari/pseuds/Yemi%20Hikari
Summary: What if ... what if members of the fellowship got ahold of items from our world in our world? What chaos would insue?
Relationships: Merry Brandybuck & Pippin Took
Series: The Antics of Hobbits [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799137
Kudos: 1
Collections: Platonic Relationships





	1. The Press

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I don't own Lord of the Rings.

Merry and Pippin were wandering around one day, when they found a rift between our world and theirs. They went through in total bliss, not realizing that they were in for a new adventure. They walked through what they thought was the woods near the Brandywine River. Suddenly, they came out and found that the woods ended abruptly and flatly next to a small field. Next to this field. Next to the field was a huge expanse of black, flat rock with flat grey rock jutting out of it. Weird metal objects that were taller then the Hobbits stood . A sign stood in one of the few green grassy areas. It said _Treegrove Elementary School_.

"Merry, why are we going to school?"

"What do you mean, why are we going to school,"

"You said we were to meet Sam and Frodo to go fishing."

"Yes and that's where we're going"

"Then why are we at ... school,"

"This doesn't look like a school. In fact, if it doesn't look like school, we had best see what it is,"

So, Merry and Pippin went to look at the huge building that stood within the weird rock. They walked right in, no one paying attention because people figured them to also be students. They saw one hall with bright colors and sign above that said _Art Hall_. They decided it was best to go down that way as it was the most intriguing due to the colors splashed here and there. They then got to a room where a group of children were. Merry and Pippin went in.

"Please tell me the teacher didn't send you two here to check in on us?" A little girl with short hair said. She seemed ... elf like, but neither could place it.

"Why would a teacher need someone to check in on all of you? Shouldn't the teacher be here?" Merry spoke up.

One of the boys laughed. "So ... obviously you two are skipping class?"

"We're not skipping. But we can start skipping," With that Pippin began to skip around the room. Laughter came from the others in the room .The girl stopped him.

"That isn't what he meant. Fortunately for you, only the geeks are left. The rest took off when the teacher went to finish publishing his book."

"That would explain why there are only ... four of you,"

"Hey, why aren't you wearing shoes?" The boy who had asked if they were skipping piped up.

"Hey, they're Hobbits like the two of us. Hedgin."

This caused the boy to roll his eyes. "There is no such thing. I am off before I hear the ruckus about Lord of the Rings again,"

"What's he talking about?" Pippin asked.

"Nothing," The girl piped up.

"Hey, what's you names. Mine is Hedgin and this is Dals."

"Merrydock Brandybuck and Periquin Took."

"Umm ... hey, are you two the real Merrydock Brandybuck and Periquin Took?" Dals spoke up.

"No. They are role playing those two," The girl piped up. She sent a look to Merry and Pippin telling them to be quite.

"Oh ... oh well," Hedgin turned to a small machine on the table. "Come check this out though."

Pippin and Merry went up and looked. The machine had two rollers and a crank. Dals put a coin in and Hedgin turned the crank. The con went in one end and out the other. It was flattened. Pippin's eyes went wide. "Wow."

"Cool is the word for it, friend."

"Then, cool," The four Hobbit's proceeded to find things in the room to squish. A clear, hard substance went through and so did brown twisted paper.

The girl shook her head. "You had better not break it."

"Hey, Merry. This thing might have destroyed the one ring!" Merry and Pippin began to imagine that happening, Merry being on the not so sure side.

_Frodo and Sam came in. Frodo had the One Ring around his neck. Merry and Pippin showed them the machine._

" _This shall surely solve all our problems. Put the ring through ans we'll see the destruction of Sauron, right Pippin," (_ How come I always have to tell them your plans Pippin.

" _Yes that's right," (_ Because, that way I don't look really stupid when something bad happens.

 _Frodo put the ring in and they began to crank. Suddenly a crack was heard. (_ Um, Pippin, I think that the cracking noise is real.

Sure enough, a loud crack filled the room. The other two Hobbits had put something in that broke the machine. The girl grabbed Pippin and Merry and took off running out of the school. "From which way did the two of you come from to get here?"

Merry pointed to the woods and she took of running in that direction. Some how as they went further in, they crossed a rift and came to a place that Sam and Frodo were fishing.

"There. I suggest the two of you not go of adventuring again." Pippin raised his hand. She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Hey, aren't men supposed to stay out of the shire?"

The girl pulled back her hair, revealing two pointed ears. "Obviously I am not of the race of man."

Frodo came up to them. "What is your name?"

"Irumi Hikari across the rift, Radotithen and Lalaith here." She glanced at Merry and Pippin. " I suggest you keep them away from the rifts, or else next time I'll have to take them to Lord Thranduil."

This caused Merry and Pippin to gulp. They hurried of to help Sam with the fishing.

"Surely he isn't that bad?"

"No, but I figured that they would have heard of him from Bilbo Baggins. Hopefully, that's enough to keep them away from the rifts. Good day to you Master Hobbit."

"Good day to you elfing," Frodo watched her disappear into the rift. He then turned to Merry and Pippin. "What did you two do this time?"

"We broke a thing with the one ring," At this statement from Pippin, Merry rolled his eyes.


	2. Fire in the Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they discover Fire Extinquishers.

Treegrove Elementary was fine and dandy. As always, Hedgin and Dales had gotten in trouble for something. And, yet again they broke something, so they were given detention. Irumi was glad that they were not in the halls that afternoon. They had done everything to get her in trouble. She was about to leave the school, when someone pulled on her shirt. She turned around and saw Merry.

"I thought I told you I would take you to Lord Thranduil if you went rift crossing again,"

"Well ... we didn't intend to, so we came to ask for your help,"

"We? I only see you Merry. Where is Pippin?"

"Um ... he got distracted by this red object."

"What kind of red object?"

"It was red. I don't know what it was,"

"Fine, show me," Irumi followed the Hobbit back into the school. A girl looked up from her pom poms.

"What are you still doing here losers. I thought they canceled all geek activities?"

"Only because people like you Gigi pick on them. They are held at other times now." Merry glanced back at the girl.

"She's not very nice,"

"She's also likes Legolas a lot."

"She can't have met Legolas,"

"She hasn't, thankfully. I would pity him immensely if they ever met and she realized who he was,"

"Oh, well, there's Pippin," Merry pointed to Pippin trying to remove something from inside the wall. Irumi's eyes went wide.

"Pippin, don't touch that,"

"But the glass is broken. It needs to be taken to be fixed." He looked at Irumi. " It was broken when I found it."

"It's been broken for some time," Suddenly the fire extinguisher fell out of the wall. Pippin fell with it. It hit the floor and it turned on by accident. Merry and Irumi grabbed at it. The tree suddenly felt themselves being pulled across the floor, spray going every where. The extinguisher was heading towards the cheerleading squad. It sprayed all of them and took off down another hall. It suddenly came to a stop. Irumi grabbed them and they hid.

"That was fun. Can we do it again?" Pippin was grinning. Irumi was listening to what the cheerleaders were saying to the principle.

"It was Hedgin, Dals and Irumi," Gigi spoke up.

"I believe all of you are lying, as two of the three are in detention. For that young lady, you get detention too,"

Irumi grinned from ear to ear. She looked at Merry and Pippin. "Perhaps it won't be so bad having you two here. Let's get you home before anyone sees you two." 


	3. Eaples and Benenes

Irumi was in her English class, when a knock came on the door of her class. She was surprised to see the principle there.

"I am looking for Irumi Hikari. Apparently, a student needs her help finding another student," The teacher nodded for Irumi to go. Irumi walked out. The principle looked like she wanted to crack up laughing.

"What is so funny,"

At that the principle cracked up. "It seems Dals and Hedgin have decided to pretend to be Merry and Pippin from the Lord of the Rings. Merry, as he said to me, said he needed help finding Pippin. He's over there."

Irumi walked up to Merry. "Are you sure he's who you think he is? He sure doesn't look like either Dals or Hedgin."

The smile left the principle's face. " I, uhhh ... you do know him."

"Yes. He's not Dals and he's not Hedgin."

"Do we have a new student that I don't know about?" The principle went to talk to her secretary.

"Hi. Merry. Thanks for getting me out of there. If I have to listen to another Mary Sue from Gigi and her crew out loud in my class, I would have puked."

"What's a Mary Sue?"

"Believe me, you don't want to know, except it is punishable in Mirkwood."

"You seem to throw that around as an insult easily,"

"I know people there. Let's leave it at that,"

"That, and your probably related to someone there!" Pippin walked around the corner with a grin on his face. " I went to school today Merry. I learned a song to sing to Bilbo and the others. Can we go sing it to them."

"I sure hope it isn't a bad song."

"I learned it in the Kindergarten class. I taught them a Hobbit game in return."

"Kindergarten?"

"Means the song is safe,"

"I also read a book about this guy with a really long name. But ... the songs funnier."

"Well, I want to hear it," Irumi spoke up.

"Well, you'll have to wait until I sing it to the others." Irumi nodded her head. The bell rang as the last class of the day ended.

"Which means I have to help you two get home again, right?" Both hobbits nodded their heads at her.

**M**

Irumi sat in Bilbo Baggins parlor. She had spent a good deal of time looking at everything. Bilbo brought out some tea and scones.

"Never seen an elfing before. It is good to know the elves are making a come back." Sam's Gather, who had come over with Sam, was about to pull out his pipe.

"Sorry old friend , but we have an elf here. It is best not to over whelm her senses with the smoke."

Gather nodded. Pippin stood up straight, clicking his heals together in military fashion. He began to sing his song about apples and bananas.

Irumi was on the floor giggling. Gather looked at Pippin with a raised eyebrow. "What kind of odd song is that?"

"One about food!" Frodo cheered. The other hobbits joined in with him. Irumi continued to giggle on the floor.


	4. Of Instant Noodles

Irumi was happy and at home safe. There was no way in the world that Gigi could bother her. Expesully since Gigi was yet again stuck at school in detention. Also, Gigi would never want to go to the house of someone who she loathed. There was another fact in the matter; Gigi had no clue where Irumi lived. No one at school knew where Irumi lived and she was quite happy with that.

She sat at the table working on her homework. Soon she would have to make herself an after school snack and wait for her brother to get home from work. She didn't mind though as it meant the house was quite. Her brother would want to watch the news when he got home. Another reason it was quite was her other brother was at home, sick in bed. She was glad he had missed out on meeting the two Hobbits. Ai was a very shy elfling.

She was startled to hear a knock come from the front door. She went over to it and opened the door. She gasped at what she saw. "What are you two doing here?"

"We were hungry and couldn't find the way back," Pippin spoke up. "May we come in?"

"Why? How did you find where I live?" Irumi tilted her head at them. She could here Ai moving in the background.

"We… well, we asked a cop. He looked at us funny and asked if we were friends of yours." Merry looked at the ground.

"How exactly did you know it was a cop," Irumi shook her head.

"Well, we have something like it in the Shire," Pippin said, a big grin on his face.

"Also, when we asked people how to get here, they looked at us funny and told us to tell the cop we were lost," Merry stated, glaring at Pippin as he did so. This made Pippin almost stop smiling. Instead, he tried to hide his smile.

"Yes, well, he sure pointed us in the right directions." Pippin piped up. "Though he had a concerned look on his face when we told him who we were."

"I won't ask," Irumi said. "Well, since you came to all the trouble of coming here, why don't we have something to eat? I was going to have an after school snack anyways."

"What do you have to eat," Merry piped up.

"Let's cook something." Pippin's grin had grown louder.

"I am only aloud to cook instant noodles." Irumi said to them.

"Well, why can't we." Pippin piped up.

"Considering all three of us need adult supervision, no." Irumi glanced at the bedroom door Ai was behind. "And do be quite. My brother's asleep in there and not feeling well."

"I didn't know Elves got sick." Merry piped up. "We'll have to tell Sam and Frodo this piece of news."

"Elves rarely get sick. Elflings on the other hand, expesully ones with low immune systems like my brother in there, get sick easily." Irumi shook her head at them.

"Alright, so what do we do to make instant noodles." Pippin said a bit too loudly. This caused Merry to elbow him, which only caused him to yelp. Both Irumi and Merry glared at him.

"We have to have boiled water." Irumi told the two.

"I'll get the pots and pans!" Pippin said, yet again a little too loudly.

"Stop Pippin! You said that we can't cook without adult supervision. By adult supervision, I believe that you mean your brother."

"Then we should wake him!" Pippin headed to the room that Irumi had looked at earlier.

"Ohh no! Wrong brother bucko!" Irumi grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Bucko?" Pippin asked while both he and Merry looked at her.

"It's slang," Irumi said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Slang?" Both hobbits were then looking at each other.

"Meaning a word that means something else. Can you guess what I meant by it." Irumi looked at the two.

"I know exactly what it meant. Pippin would be in big trouble if he bothered your brother." Merry said aloud.

"Bother … brother … hmmm," Pippin thought to himself. "They don't rhyme, but they sound similar, perhaps that would make for a good new song."

"Anyways, back to what we were doing. Instant noodles. We can boil the water without pots and pans." This caused the two hobbits to stare at her.

"How," Merry looked at her skeptically.

"You put water in a bowl and time it. Watch." Irumi put some water into a bowl and set the timer. When it went ding, she pulled out a cup with paper over it and pulled back the paper. She then poured the water into it. She then set the time on the microwave for the right time and then divided the noodles between the two Hobbits.

"I want to try that," Merry said. "Can we make more then this at one time?"

"Uh huh," Irumi nodded her head. Merry boiled a big bowl of water and poured it in and timed the noodles. Pippin had been looking at the microwave while the water was boiling. After the timer went off, he decided he wanted to try. Irumi went to take a cup of noodles to Ai.

Pippin found a potato and stuck it into the microwave. He pushed all the nine buttons and pressed start, just like he saw Irumi and Merry do. As Irumi came out of her brother's room, she heard an explosion. She ran into the kitchen and saw that the microwave was on fire. She grabbed the fire extinguisher, which fortunately was one that could handle all three classed of fire and began spray.

"What happened?" Irumi said as she sprayed the kitchen.

"Who's that?" Pippin pointed to where Irumi had accidentally sprayed someone and it wasn't Merry or him.

"Ai, you're supposed to be in bed." Irumi grabbed his shoulder and shoved the other elfling towards the room. Ai's pajamas were ruffled and he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"What is going on here?!"

"Ohh oh," Irumi knew she was in trouble. Ai just nodded his head.

"Hey, it's another one of those cops." Pippin spoke up, pointing to the figure in the doorway.

"That is our older brother." Irumi stated, looking at the floor.

"It smells like a lot of burnt things, but burnt potato's one of them." Her brother commented.

"Irumi said that boiling water in the microwave wasn't cooking without adult supervision, so I thought that heating a potato wasn't either." Pippin responded. "It was fun watching it go round and round."

"That explains why you're scorched like when we set of one of Gandalf's fireworks and we weren't supposed to." Merry snapped. "I'd better take him home… if we can find the rift back again. Bye."

Irumi's older brother watched them go. "All right, nobody comes into this house while I'm at work unless it is an adult you know or a cop. Got it you two."

Ai and Irumi could only nod their heads.


End file.
